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Of course, always remember that it’s you making the plan so you should always have a measure of control.
Even if you're not sure what S&M actually entails, the letters alone probably conjure up vivid images: Whips and chains, leather and latex, a tubby guy named The Gimp tugging on his leash as he hungrily eyes Bruce Willis in .
"That really got me excited," says Paula, a 40-year-old from Seattle.
A few weeks later when he offered to give her a back rub, "I told him what I really wanted was for him to spank me, and not stop even if I asked him to." That Christmas, without prior discussion, she bought him a flogger, and he bought her a paddle.
It's common to assume that sadism-and-masochism enthusiasts are at best unusual or shocking and at worst downright depraved. Well, The Gimp certainly is — living in a locked crate in the basement of a pawnshop will do that to you.
And the anecdotal evidence suggest that enthusiasts of kinky play differ from"normal" people in two ways: They have higher levels of education and tend to be very creative.